Blogger: Music Of The Heart

Why do we listen to music? What is it that we like about it so much? 

For me, music has the same rhythm as my heartbeat and no matter what kind of song I listen to, it adapts to me. And for me it is almost always about the lyrics first and song second*. But it does work the other way around as well. Something quite interesting I have experienced, and as I was told this happens to a lot of people as well, is that when I am in a certain mood I somehow, call it fate, come across a song which lyrics' are 99.9% adequate to my state of mind. This is by far fascinating for me, and today it has happened again. But before I jump ahead to that, I'd like to show you a couple of examples. *(That's another reason why I don't really listen to lyrical songs, only if I know them from somewhere, like a movie score). 

 
We all have weak moments in our lives, when we feel that we need to do something or depression is going to take over us. Moments where everything is bad and you just can't get a break from life. That is when I like to get out my 80's songs, because let's face it, those are the best ones! My favorite song in all of the world is It's My Life from Talk Talk. (Yes, there are a couple of more songs with this title, like Bon Jovi's or Dr. Alban's, and this very song was remastered by No Doubt with lead singer Gwen Stefani. That is a very good version too, but I am old fashioned!) The lyrics take you on the second you hear them and you can't help but shout:

♬"It's my life, don't you forget

It's my life, it never ends"

The music itself is very important as well. A song can have good lyrics but be very, very bad at the instrumental part at the same time. I feel quite sorry those times, but still as long as I can shout the words I feel fine. Now you have heard what kind of music I hide behind when I feel like the world is treating me bad, but what do I listen to when I am happy?
I have found many times that when I feel sad, I just need something to lift my mood as soon as possible. Those times I put my earphones in and start to dance in the dark. I do, this is a ritual of mine, I sweat out my problems. Exercise helps you relax, therefore I dance my way through a problem. In these cases I have 2 kinds of songs I like to listen to, the first one is one whose lyrics do not appeal to any situation but the music is just so damn good! The second one is when I try to come up with new choreography, and I need a base that even those with two left feet can hear.

♬"Ask me all the questions you need, I don't tell lies my conscience don't bleed

You get all the time I can give, as long as you respect my freedom to live!"

Infidelity by Simply Red

♬"Hey now, hey now! 

What's the matter with ya?

Girls just want to have now, come on!"

Hey Now (Girls just want to have fun) by Cyndi Lauper

"

I really admire Cyndi Lauper, she had a great song in the 80's which was an international hit, singing about the fact that girls just want some fun! Isn't that cute? And then she recorded Hey Now in the 90's, singing about transvestites, singing about the fact that girls just want some fun! It became an international hit, once again! She is someone we can all learn from!

What do I listen to when I do want to remain sad and my poor heart aches? Well, I listen to the saddest song available on the planet:

♬"I can shine even in the darkness."

Gabriel by Lamb

We have heartaches, sorrow, we lose people close to us, we suffer the consequences of every act. And those times, those couple of really low points in our lives we like to hear it, that it's not our fault, it is just that others don't understand. 

♬"When everything seems to be broken,

yeah you bleed just to know you're alive."

Iris by Goo Goo Dolls

There are two more cases I can recall that I use to handle my problems with music, my eternal companion :). I very often listen to musicals. Often? That is an understatement. I have a dozen favorites and I know the lyrics and dialogues by heart for all of them. It might be the story, it might be again the lyrics, or simply the live performance but I am given chills and it is a feeling that I simply love. They speak to me, they understand me, I find, even a musical like Romeo&Juliet has a couple of lyrics that I find are adequate for my taste. Here are a couple of examples, first is when I feel really pessimistic, the second one is when I feel realistic and the third one is when I feel optimistic!

♬"We all deserve to die, even you Ms. Lovett, even I!"

Epiphany from Sweeney Todd

/performed by Johnny Depp/

♬"There's a moment you know you're f*cked

Not an inch more room to self destruct."

Totally f*ucked from Spring Awakening

♬"The world and I, we are still waiting,

Still hesitating, any dream will do."

Any Dream Will Do from Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat

/performed by Lea Mead/

To end this little fairy tale of mine I would like to talk to you about two songs that came out of nowhere exactly when I needed them. I have a talent for understanding lyrics in a song, of course, not always. But sometimes I get lucky, I hear out a couple of verses, I type into Google and song comes up on YouTube! That is awesome. One time, I was heading home from my friend's house, she was driving, and I was in a pretty bad shape. I did not want to neglect it but at the same time I needed something that made me energetic despite the ability to cry at will. We got into the car, the stereo turned on and I head the following words "I am in misery." I looked at the stereo, seriously? I asked myself. Do I have an official channel now that judges me as well? That is kinda cool, but still. I only got the last 10 seconds of the song, but as soon as I got home I looked for it in a hurry. And I found it. The music still pumps the adrenaline and yet the lyrics define my feelings:

♬"Why do you do what you do to me?

Why won't you answer me, answer me YEAH!

I am in misery, there ain't nobody who can comfort me!"

Misery by Maroon 5

The last example, is the one that happened this morning. You see I am writer and I have currently been checking a work of mine where the main character was based on an acquaintance of mine with whom I lost touch. It hurts me deeply that this has happened, but it is sanitary for me to get over it. Yet, after months of feeling perfectly fine, I started checking my work and I fell back down. It is not pretty. And what happened this morning? I was sitting in the so called "Freshman-Castle" on our campus, where I have all of my lectures, and as we waited for the lesson to begin the teacher popped in a song while he connected his computer together with the projector. I don't really believe in fate, or that things happen for a reason, but I've found it incredibly creepy that the song which we had to listen to for about a 1 minute, perfectly summarized how I feel, what is wrong with it, what my conclusion should be and the song itself is gorgeous. What are the chances of something like this actually happening? I mean honestly! I did not know this artist previously, he reminds me of a clash between Sting, Phil Collins and Peter Gabriel. I don't want to write down all of the lyrics, but this is really accurate to my life, if you are interested click here for the whole lyrics, but here is the song, my new favorite song:

♬"Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over

But had me believing it was always something that I'd done

And I don't want to live that way, reading into every word you say

You said that you could let it go

and I wouldn't catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know."

Somebody that I used to know by Gotye

So, how is music my companion?

When I want to feel good about love, I listen to The Proclaimers. When I don't know what is going on and I just need a break from reality, I listen to IAMX, London After Midnight, or The Smiths. When I want good rock, I either listen to Nickelback or Bon Jovi. When I want to dance I listen to Katy Perry or Kylie Minogue.

I hate R&B and rapping makes me sick from a certain amount on. Yeah, on my MP3 I have Britney Spears, Hilary Duff, Mr. President, Spice Girls, Vengaboys, S Club 7 and BB King. And I love it :). 

And if nothing works, then it is time to take out my La Roux discography! That always solves any and all of my problems!

My Poems: The Rainbow

Az összes versem megtalálhatod a "My Poems" oldalon, ahol nyelv szerint színekkel el vannak választva! You can find all of my poems on the page of the same name, where they are color coordinated based on the language they were written in. Puoi trovare le mie poesie sulla pagina "My Poems" dove sono colorate in base alla lingua nella quale le ho scritte.

. . . . . .

The inspiration for this poem is quite painful. So it is not included on the poems page of my blog anymore. But I am not in the business of rewriting history, so it is still available, for any who want to read it. 

THE RAINBOW

Yellow are the locks in your hair.
Green is the jealousy you can't bare.
Red is the anger in your eyes
when your pink cloud is lost in your skies.
Calm orange light you would need,
when for me blue you feel,
'cause my purple wounds you can't heal.


Yellow were the locks in your hair.
Green is my jealousy you just can't bare.
Red is the passion in your eyes
when you kick your pink cloud up to the skies.
Calm orange light I would need,
when for us blue I feel,
'cause my purple wounds you just won't heal.

Október 1. - The 1st of October - Il primo Ottobre

Mellrák elleni országos nap. Ne bízd a szerencsére, légy biztos az egésszégedben!

Breast Cancer Awareness day. Do not leave it up to luck, make sure you are fine!

Giornata nazionale contro il cancro al seno. Non lasciare tutto alla fortuna, sí sicura che stai bene!


http://www.pinkribbon.com/

The First Time I Fell In Love

 What's Next On My List? My Sassy Girl

First review/personal entry for you, I hope you'll enjoy reading it. I know I enjoyed writing it!.

If you are either interested in Jesse Bradford or Elisha Cuthbert movies, or, if you came across remakes of Korean movies (2001) you might have seen a little straight to DVD movie called “My Sassy Girl” (2008).

Now, I decided to write a personal entry for the first time because this movie in particular touched me in more ways then once. It begun with this phrase: “This is the story of the first and last time I ever fell in love.” The movie itself tells us the story of Charlie Bellow who has fallen madly in love with a girl who manages to completely destroy his life in three months time and completely turn his world upside down.

Charlie - “On the reasons to stop seeing her side we have: One, ongoing physical danger. Two, high likely-hood of a broken heart. Three, uh career sabotage. Four, she is clinically insane. Five, she seems to enjoy my pain. Six, fourteen piece matched set of Louis Vuitton emotional baggage. Seven, I haven't even kissed her yet, for God's sakes. Uh eight, she's ruining my life.”

Friend – “And the reasons to keep seeing her? “

Charlie - “One. I'm in love with her. “

That is quite beautiful. To add, the story in also a teaching of how small the world actually is. As it turns out, Jordan (the girl) has recently lost her fiancee he passed away. The late fiancee's mother wants her to meet someone who is quite like he was. As it turns out, this person was also Charlie’s cousin, and his aunt wants Jordan to meet him. The whole idea of the movie is that Jordan only believes in destiny and she tells Charlie they should break up, and if in one year they will encounter each other then it means they should be together. This totally destroys Charlie, but he waits for her, only to meet her at a dinner given by his aunt.

Besides the fact that this movie is for me the absolute love story and one of the bests at that, I decided to use it to describe the first time I fell in love because it has all the steps I went through.

Unfortunately, my friends, knowing who that person was have been kind enough to let me know how much they hate it when I talk about them, so for sanitary reasons I am not going to give any information about “them”. As a matter of fact, I’m going to call them “they”. Use your imagination!

When the story begins, we meet someone whom we like as a person. Actually, many-many times we can’t even decide if we hate or love the person we are spending time with. It was the same for me. It took me a while to realize that all I want is to just spend time with them and find excuses to do so. It was so with Charlie and Jordan too, he couldn't admit it that he loved every second when they were together, because she was destroying his dreams with drinking and being foolish. So we are not sure what we want.

My problem always was that when we are in love, and that love is not mutual, we are treated as lepers. And I don’t see the necessity of that. It’s not that I decided who I should fall in love with. So if we can’t get them we try to do all kinds of stupid things. That never works out. Once you lose that chemistry you can’t get it back. In the movie there is a scene where an ex-soldier puts a gun at them and tells them his story. He was enlisted and his girlfriend left him for a Frenchman. Therefore he planned to kill them. He couldn’t find them at home, so he decided to kill himself. He said that it’s going to hurt her and she will never recover. To this, Jordan replies:

Jordan – “You’re wrong, ‘cause time will pass and she’ll be fine.”

Soldier – “How do you know?”

Jordan – “ ‘Cause that’s the way it works.”

Soldier – “How do you know?”

Jordan – “It has to be.”

And I can’t decide if that is sad or comforting somehow. You know, when someone close to me died, I thought that this was going to stay with me forever. And it kinda does, it always will. But I have somehow healed. You think I haven’t thought about killing myself at one point? Oh, yes, I did. Somehow it still crosses my mind. For some stupid reason I believe that it’ll teach them a lesson, and that is wrong. I am smarter than that. First of all, someone who doesn't care about you is not going to be hurt if you die. They couldn’t care less and they probably would never blame themselves for it either. No, it is quite obvious that you are the stupid one, it is not their fault. But what must we do? You can’t turn off your heart. Believe me, I have tried. But every human being on the planet only wants to be in love. It is stupid to assume that men only listen to their penises. I have never believed that and I invite you to forget it. Yes, many people like to have sex, some more than others. Some are capable of cheating, some are not. But that doesn't mean that they don’t have a heart. And no, sorry, I have made a mistake. Nobody wants to be in love, we want to be loved. Being in love sucks, who cares? We want to be loved. I myself have plenty of friends and family and I know they care about me. I just wish someone would love me before I die. Because:

Jordan – “Listen, your girlfriend, she broke you heart, yes?”

Soldier – “Yes!”

Jordan – “She broke her promise and she betrayed you.”

Soldier – “Yes, yes she did!”

Jordan – “Some of us are meant to suffer, you know? Some of us are meant to believe that we have a certain destiny and then it gets just snatched away. But we have to stay alive. Because we have to see how the story ends… Right?”

She was right, you know. Let alone the fact that it seems nobody is interested in you and that your friends, whom of course unlike you have all had somewhat successful relationships, think that you are stupid to be in love. To be in love with that precise person, to feel the need to cling to someone, to be stupid enough to wish them to love you back after all the ways they hurt you, you… you… at the end of the day still need to hope. You still need to believe that there is someone out there. That if destiny has anything to do with your life, it will help you get somewhere. “Destiny is the bridge you build to the one you love.” How long are we supposed to work on that goddamn bridge? I believe I am one of those who is meant to suffer. Have you noticed that everyone is in a relationship? It doesn't get easier when you get older, because then everyone seems to be getting married. :) I don’t want to go on, you get the point. Before I stop, there is one more phrase I’d like to quote from Charlie: "Where is the line between romantic and delusional?”

And that you should always keep in mind. If someone loves you, there purpose is not to destroy your life, to drive you insane, make you think that they are stalkers and so on. They only wish for you to love them back, to be part of your life, to be the ones who can put a smile of your face. If you don't love them back, no hard feelings, but at least let them down easily instead of kicking them. Is that so much to ask?

The movie is very beautiful, set in last weeks of Autumn, portrays a beautiful New York and the characters are very likable. Even if at certain points you just want to hit Jordan in the face, in the end you understand her pain and you just want them to be together. Throughout the whole movie they share only one kiss, which I find was even more touching, seeing that nowadays in romantic movies kissing is completely misused. Think of such classics like You've Got Mail! Either way, it is 90 minutes of pure fun, make sure you check it out!

Check out my favorite song from the soundtrack!

My Poems: A Szakítás

Az összes versem megtalálhatod a "My Poems" oldalon, ahol nyelv szerint színekkel el vannak választva! You can find all of my poems on the page of the same name, where they are color coordinated based on the language they were written in. Puoi trovare le mie poesie sulla pagina "My Poems" dove sono colorate in base alla lingua nella quale le ho scritte.

. . . . .

A SZAKÍTÁS

Engem elhagytál,

Szívembe tapostál.

Fájdalommal elengedtelek.

De ne fordulj meg!

Mert könnyes szemem láttán

Vissza jönnél hozzám.

És szánalomból fognád  kezem,

És ez nem kell nekem!

Mert én a szerelmedért élek,

És anélkül számomra nincs élet.

Így inkább meghalok,

Mint, hogy mosoly nélkül lássam az arcod.

A tested már nem melenget,

Nem ég a tekinteted,

Nem izzad a tenyered,

Nem remeg a nyelved.

Mert könnyes szemem láttán,

Vissza jöttél hozzám.

És várod azt a percet,

Mikor elegem lesz belőled.

Így inkább én szakítok veled,

Hogy legalább Te boldog lehess!